7 phrases manipulators use to make you feel like it’s your fault


Manipulators use certain phrases to get what they want. All they have to achieve is to make you feel guilty. They are good at it.

There are many phrases that a manipulator uses to get what he wants. They simply tap into your empathy create guiltt in case you say no. I bet you already know this strategy. If you have that one friend who is constantly pushing you to do something, this list is for you.

Are you familiar with the phrases used by manipulators?

First, I want to say that helping people and spending time with them is obviously not a bad thing. What is wrong is that you are forced to do something that you either don’t want to or don’t have time for.

I get this feeling from time to time when I am asked to do social work. Most of the time my friends are understanding, but every now and then I face manipulation.

It is important to understand the phrases used by manipulators to prevent yourself from falling into this pattern. These phrases in general revolves around gas lighting and other forms of inflection. Here are some phrases to look out for.

1. “If you really loved me, you would…”

Have you ever heard that before? This is a common line of manipulators, especially relationship partners. A manipulative partner will use their love as a weapon to influence any situation. For example, if they want something in a relationship and you don’t like it, they may use this phrase. But don’t fool yourself– they just want to get their way.

2. “You’ve changed.”

As for the phrases manipulators use, this one seems more personal. In other words, this toxic person is saying that you only cheated on them because you changed your mind. But you see, the truth is that change is growth, and change is a good thing.

So if you say manipulative person in your life that you no longer want to do a certain activity, that decision should be respected, not belittled.

3. “I guess I can’t depend on you then.”

First, your boundaries are important. So, if the manipulator acts like you’re not trustworthy, don’t listen to him. It’s also just a tactic they use to get what they want.

Let’s be honest, the manipulator always wants to be right, wants to be seen in a positive light, and wants you to agree with him. But it’s perfectly okay to opt out for whatever reason, because strengthening your boundaries will keep you physically and mentally safe. Ignore this selfish attempt.

4. “After everything I’ve done for you, how do you repay me?”

I bet you’ve heard it before. So, I often encounter this attitude in my life. I can even detect this setup before a manipulative person does anything for me. When someone randomly offers to buy me things or take me out to eat, I question their motives.

Yes, this type of thinking can be unhealthy, but if the person in question has a history of manipulation, it can be a good thing. Manipulators often do extravagant things for you in preparation for a big favor in the near future. And if you do respond, they will make you feel guilty by saying something like that. Be careful!

5. “You’re too sensitive.”

Manipulators use many phrases, but this one is infuriating. First, they do something that makes you angry, and when you react to that unkindness, they twist the situation to their advantage. They refer to guilt you about your anger, accusing your feelings of overreaction, basically.

And every time they do something, instead of taking responsibility, they will claim that you are angry because you are too sensitive. See how it works?

6. “Remember when you…”

Have you ever noticed that when you argue with a manipulator, they always bring up something you’ve done in the past? The reason they do this is probably because they lose the argumentand they must summon the past, namely your mistakes, as a weapon. That’s all they have for defense.

And the reasoning is, they want to make you feel guilty in hopes that you’ll drop the argument altogether. It’s all about shirking responsibility.

7. “Everyone agrees with me.”

Another tactic manipulators use to make you feel guilty is isolation. If they can make you believe that you are the only one who thinks a certain way, then they have sown insecurities. And with that self-doubt comes guilt.

While the manipulators lie, they are also triangularrather, tend to isolate you from your own friends and family. When they do this, they make you believe that your friends and family think the way they do and you don’t. Do you see how this isolation begins? When you get down to it, you’ll feel guilty for having your own opinion.

It’s about manipulators and guilt

While you may not be able to change the manipulatoryou can reduce their influence on your life. Above all, don’t be fooled by their words. Understand that your boundaries are important and you should never feel guilty about them. Also, your family and friends will eventually view manipulator games and see the truth.

No matter what you do, just remember that you are worthy and important. Don’t let anyone try to make you feel guilty about the choices you’ve made. It’s your life and your decisions should be the most important.

Stay strong and stay true to yourself.

Sherry Hurd, AA
Recent Posts by Sherri Hurd, AA (see everything)
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