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Can a narcissist love? My immediate answer would be yes, of course; they love myself. But are they capable of love you?
Daffodils exist on a spectrumso their ability to love also exists on a spectrum? Narcissists would claim that they are it is possible fall in love when their needs are met, but relationships require compromise, with equal amounts of give and take, and narcissists take, not give. Their version of love is obsessive, one-sided, and transactional.
So what is love for a narcissist and what do they really mean when they say: “i love you”?
Can a narcissist love?
1. What Narcissists Really Mean When They Say “I Love You.”
Can a narcissist love you? They would say they can, but their definition of love is different from yours. Narcissists love people as much as you love your new flat screen TV or car. They love him for what he can do for them or the way he makes them feel.
Narcissists do not have the emotional development or empathy to form lasting deep connections. To them, you are an object, and your “job” is to satisfy their needs. It symbolizes love for a narcissist.
Narcissists do not reach the stage where objects become people worthy of love. So when they say “I love you”what they’re really saying: you validate me, you pay attention to me, you boost my ego, you make me your priority, i feel special when i’m with you so i have to own you because i feel and look better with you around.
2. Love is different for narcissists
Narcissists may have inflated egos and a heightened sense of self-importance, but a narcissist’s self-worth depends on the opinions of others. Daffodils rely on external factors to boost their self-esteem.
Healthy self-esteem does not depend on external factors. It is internal. It is based on how we perceive ourselves and our capabilities. He accepts our strengths and weaknesses and does not rely on constant validation or admiration from others. So maybe is a narcissist in love if he doesn’t love himself?
3. Narcissistic love is an obsession
When a narcissist says: “I love you” they believe they can fall in love, but it’s not a deep connection if both partners are equal. Narcissistic love requires full attention to their needs. Their version of love has stages and it starts with obsession and I like to bomb.
Narcissus quickly falls in love. Loving them means they can’t stop thinking about you. They dream of life with you. They fell in love with you. But not because of your striking looks or captivating personality; it’s for what you can do for them.
“For a narcissist, love is an external source of validation that is used to boost their self-esteem. They don’t understand that true love involves reciprocity. Instead, they believe that love is something they can get from a person or object and use to make themselves feel better.”
Dr. Ketan Parmar, relationship expert
You provide worship, gratitude, checkthey need admiration and attention to feel special and they think that’s love. You fulfill their need for external validation. Narcissists will mirror your behavior to establish a connection, however shallow. Narcissists know this connection is superficialso they like to bomb you to hook you.
They will cover you with a hot stormy romance. They will be kind and considerate and will be quick to talk about long-term plans such as marriage. Narcissists see you as the perfect partner because you support their sense of self-worth through your response to their behavior.
4. Narcissistic love is an attachment
Once a narcissist has you hooked into a relationship, it will quickly become apparent that your world revolves around their needs. All your attention is focused on them. You constantly monitor their mood and reaction. You are constantly boosting and flattering their ego by putting them on a pedestal neglecting your needs in a relationship. Because of this, you lose your autonomy.
Before long, the line between you and the narcissist is blurred, and when they ignore your feelings, you simply become an extension of the narcissist, absorbing their emotions as if they were your own. This is an engagement.
You alone work to save the relationship. As your personality becomes more attached to the narcissist’s, your value is determined by how you make the narcissist feel. So if you want to know if a narcissist loves you when they say: “I love you” the answer is yes, if you do a fantastic job of making them feel validated.
5. Narcissistic love is transactional
Because the narcissist cannot feel good without the input of others, they need this validation from a constant source or source. So, if you are wondering if a narcissist can love you, it depends on the quality of it narcissistic submission; it’s you They will keep you close as long as you make them feel good.
Feeling good can mean many different things to a narcissist; such as putting up with their toxic behavior or tantrums to make them feel superior, taking care of them financially to let them live way of life of parasites.
Whatever it is, the relationship has to give them something; otherwise they will leave. Narcissists take, not give. They use techniques like gaslighting, extortion or sabotage to get the maximum reward.
Final thoughts
So can a narcissist love? The answer is this no. Narcissists use people like normal people use objects or tools. When an object stops working, we discard it. And daffodils discard people as objects. Sure, they might “like” how the object made them feel, but they won’t look back and say they were Art love with him.
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Sub-editor and staff writer in Training the mind
Jenny Davis has been publishing online for over 10 years. She suffered from panic disorder for more than 30 years, prompting her to study and complete an honors degree in psychology at the Open University. Janey uses her experience of anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.
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