7 emotional blackmail phrases that seem innocent at first

Did you know that these seemingly innocent statements are sometimes phrases of emotional blackmail? That’s for sure. Not everything is as it seems.

Emotional blackmail phrases are used to control you, plain and simple. They are designed only with the speaker’s interests in mind. It doesn’t matter how much these phrases hurt you because they are not about you. It’s about them. So, no matter how innocent they may seem, these words can raise doubts, so be careful.

Recognition of phrases of emotional blackmail

To stay strong, maintain healthy boundaries, and build your self-esteem, you must learn to recognize when someone is using emotional blackmail. And I’m not talking about blatant insults, oh no. Emotional blackmail can be insidious, and sometimes you don’t even know when it’s being used against you.

That’s because sometimes it comes in the form of innocent enough phrases that you’ve probably heard before. So, take a look at some examples to help you understand the structure and feelings behind these words and sentences.

1. “You’re too sensitive.”

I bet you’ve heard this many times, especially from family members, right? I know there is. I think there is something about being sad or upset that makes manipulators feel uncomfortable. Perhaps in that split second, the manipulator sees the damage he has caused with his words or actions. But it doesn’t last.

For example, if the manipulator said something harsh to you and it upset you, he might say: “You’re too sensitive” to avoid apologizing. After all, some people are never wrong in their own eyes.

2. “I don’t want to argue.”

When someone says this, they can mean several things. Perhaps they really do not want to argue, or simply try to avoid communication.

I’ve noticed that some people just can’t relate no matter how you approach the subject. And sometimes people who secretly love drama will say this to appear peaceful. But they don’t want peace; they just want it their way.

3. “Whatever”

To be honest, I’ve said this before, and yes, I’ve tried to emotionally blackmail someone with those words. I’m guilty, so I know exactly where the phrase comes from. It’s not innocent at all.

You don’t agree with what you’re being told. In fact, you absolutely hate the other person’s decisions or statements and their words “whatever” basically means they have to revise their decision to be more in line with what you believe. You see how manipulative it can be?

Pay close attention to such one-word statements. This is one of the most insidious emotional blackmail phrases.

4. “I thought you would appreciate what I did.”

In a healthy relationship, it’s simply acknowledging that you’ve done something nice for your partner. But in an unhealthy relationship, namely with narcissistic personality typethis phrase is often used after exceeding the limits.

Manipulative people will set up a meeting for you, for example, or plan social events without asking, and then have the nerve to say something like that. They want to be thanked for something they never asked for. They’ll get mad if you don’t appreciate it, too. It’s vile.

Emotional blackmail phrases can be subtle and designed to make you look like the bad guy.

5. “I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about you.”

This is one of the emotional blackmail phrases I hate the most. I am disgusted by the policing that goes on in relationships. This is a particularly insidious statement used against women and the clothes they choose to wear. Even adults are controlled by their partners with such statements.

The truth is, it’s not your job to control people’s perceptions of you. You should be able to look and dress the way you want as an adult, and not be blamed for your lack of self-control by others. I think you got my point.

6. “If you really cared…”

It is blackmail, but since it plays on the guilt of the other party, it can be disguised as something else. If the manipulator can convince you that your actions are causing problems, he can also convince you that you don’t care about them because you chose those actions.

The truth is that you care about yourself, and often your actions are aimed at improving your life. If what you do to improve your life doesn’t benefit them, then they will try to blackmail you to try to convince you to do something else.

7. “I was just joking.”

I’ve talked about this before, probably a couple of times. I cannot stress enough how frustrating this seemingly innocent phrase is to the average person. Of all the emotive blackmail phrases, this one is perhaps the most unsophisticated to those who haven’t heard how it works.

Let me get this straight: They’re telling you something pretty harsh, even downright offensive. When they offend you, they retreat by saying: “I was just joking“. This attempt is designed to make you look like you’re overreacting to their humor. The truth is, they were never joking, and they don’t even have the guts to stand up for what they said. They are cowards.

Emotional blackmail and how to protect yourself

Sometimes it seems easy to protect yourself from manipulators and blackmailers. But truth be told, sometimes people just get into situations without a clear escape plan. Poor mental health can make someone believe they deserve to be treated this way, which is a lie. No one deserves to be manipulated.

Whatever the reason, you have to keep fighting toxic behavior. Yes, it’s tiring, and yes, it’s hurtful, but you can’t let another person infect you with their self-hatred. Because otherwise, why would anyone say such things to those they love? It’s because they hate themselves and they can’t accept love because they don’t feel they deserve it.

But trying to help someone with toxic behavior can be dangerous. If they don’t seek help, they can drag you down with them. Whenever you yelling at their behaviorthey are just looking for a better way to word something or find another way to manipulate you. That’s why it’s so important to learn how they work.

You can get rid of it, but it takes time. Phrases of emotional blackmail, like any other form of manipulation, are built on lies and low self-esteem. Knowing this will help you become free.