Achieving true happiness when we are struggling can seem impossible, but it is also the key to our recovery, healing and well-being.
When we are personally going through a difficult time or witness the pain of others, our relationship to true joy or happiness can be complex and confusing. Happiness can seem unattainable, or it can feel like a betrayal, like something we don’t “deserve” when times are tough.
But strengthening our ability to notice and penetrate moments of beauty, tenderness, connection, and gratitude can actually have a strengthening effect on us. It can help us build resilience and fill our empty emotional tanks, which can aid our own healing and enable us to heal others.
Teacher Wendy O’Leary shares a guided practice to tune our attention to the reality that glitters next to our true seasons of struggle.
Meditation for true happiness even in difficult times
Read the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.
Like many, you may have wondered, How can I even think about being happy when I’m having such a hard time right now?
or, How can I be happy when there is so much suffering in the world?
However, happiness is not only available when basic needs are met, but is necessary for our well-being and resilience. We need this resilience both for ourselves when we are struggling and to support others when they are. Both could be true.
Things can be hard and we can also touch happiness in life. It cannot be forced, so this practice is not an encouragement to push hard things. On the contrary, this very gentle invitation will also make some room for good, as you can increase your ability and prosperity.
This practice is based on Rick Hansen’s practice of receiving goodness.
- Let’s start by getting into a comfortable position. If this works for you, I invite you to close your eyes.
- Gently direct your attention to the sensory experience of your body. You may feel your feet on the floor, the backs of your feet on a chair or pillow, or where your hands touch. Direct your attention to where you can most easily connect with the experience of the seated body.
- Now gently expand your attention to feel the sensations of your entire body sitting, including the sensations of the body’s breath. The invitation is here for a wide, gentle and receptive awareness of the body’s sitting and the body’s breathing.
- If difficult emotions or thoughts arise, it is not a problem. No need to push them aside. Gently acknowledge their presence, perhaps even saying to yourself: Oh, unpleasant thoughts or emotions. Then let them recede into the background while you focus on the foreground of the whole-body experience if we stop here for a moment.
- Now remember a moment when you felt truly happy. It could be a time when you felt peace or calm, or perhaps you felt a sense of contentment, or it could even be a joyful time. If there are multiple experiences vying for your attention, just choose one for our collaborative practice. There is no right or wrong choice here.
- Notice where you are during this experience and who you are with. Look around and notice what else you see as you recall this experience. You can notice what sounds you hear. Were there any tastes or smells? Just poke around. What about physical sensations like the sun on your skin or your feet in the sand, or even movement like swaying or dancing? Just notice any physical sensations associated with the experience. Embrace it with all your senses.
- Now let go of the specific experience and just check for yourself. What does my body feel like when you are happy, calm, satisfied, or joyful? What is it in the body? What is it in the head? What’s on your mind? You can even say to yourself Oh, he’s so happy.
- Imagine that this feeling has taken over your whole body. Enjoy the happiness, allowing it to grow and expand. You can even tell yourself This feeling should be preserved to help your brain remember and access that feeling more easily. Oh, happy like that, and it’s worth keeping. Enjoy the experience, adding to the experience and reminding yourself that it is worth keeping. Happy feels like this.
- Remember that happiness is not about the specific experience you remember. It’s yours and it’s available. You just need to take a moment to summon it and lean into the feeling of happiness. Happiness is like that.
- Before we close, let’s say a few good wishes. May we and all beings be safe. May we and all beings be healthy in body, mind and heart. May we and all beings be happy, truly happy, peaceful, content and free. May our practice benefit all beings.
- As you go about your day, you can set the intention to notice small moments of happiness, peace, and connection. Stop for at least three breaths to take them, noticing them with all your senses. Notice how your body feels when you feel happiness and invite that feeling of happiness to stay and even expand in your body, mind and heart.
Thank you for practicing with me.
