12 Signs The Orphan Archetype Is Ruling Your Life ⋆ LonerWolf

Have you ever felt like a child without a father or mother? Have you experienced abuse, betrayal, abandonment or neglect by your family members? Do you often feel powerless or overwhelmed by life?

These are all signs that you may be operating from the Orphan archetype – something that many lone wolves and sensitive souls experience.

Of all the shadowy and unconscious internal dynamics we can work with, this is probably one of thehe is the most painful. I should know because I’ve been there, and sometimes I go back there in my darkest moments.

Pain. Emptiness. Loneliness. Fear.

These are all emotional “flavors” of this desolate inner landscape.

Since I became a parent, I reintroduced it the underworld shadow work travel to explore even the deeper layers of my own inner child.

What I realized, more and more, is that true emotional healing begins when you stop abandoning the orphaned child you once were.

True heart healing begins when you learn to parent the orphaned child you never had.

12 Signs That The Orphan Archetype Is Ruling Your Life

“The Outlaw/Orphan archetype appears in hundreds of folktales, fiction books, and even movies. Literary characters such as Cinderella, The Match Girl, Jane Eyre, Froda Baggins, and Harry Potter are well-known Outlaws… He is the awkward Other, unique and alone in a world that reminds us how close we all are to being set free, only to be left without support.” – Toka-pa Turner

Before working with the inner Orphan, it is helpful to know if this part dominates your life. Here are some signs to look out for:

1. You often feel helpless, powerless or as a victim (in relationships, work or life in general).
2. Are you destructive, cold or otherwise dysfunctional relationships with your caregivers or birth family.
3. You it is easy to distrust others and prefer to do things alone.
4. You feel that you survived but rarely flourishes in life.
5. You have a a scarcity mindset where you try to hoard resources (money, possessions, food, love) because of the fear that they will run out.
6. You self-estranged and struggle to have a solid sense of identity.
7. You are inclined to accept the role of martyr or people-pleaser around others.
8. You often struggle with feelings loneliness and emptiness.
9. You have a tendency to addiction (perfectionism, workaholism, drugs, alcohol, social media, etc.) to fill the void.
10. You tend to be naively/ideally and see the world in black or white.
11. You aretruggle asking for help.
12. You are very sensitive to any signs of rejection from others.

Healing begins when you stop abandoning the orphaned child you once were

It is no accident that they were favorite books in childhood A series of unfortunate events (a book about three orphans), st Harry Potter series (another orphan), and Jane Eyre (yep, you guessed it, another orphan).

Something about these books soothed my soul and gave me the cozy comfort I needed to survive a childhood that seemed lonely, sometimes scary, and imprisoned.

What’s wrong with you? When you think back to what comforted you as a child, do you see any patterns of orphan archetypes (like doing things alone, reading about other orphans, or maybe even looking for a loving mother or father)?

One of the reasons that continuing to operate from this archetype is so destructive is that it keeps us in a state of perceived powerlessness, denial, and victimhood.

Without moving this energy, we find ourselves stuck (and in some cases unconsciously). looking for) the same patterns of pain and suffering over and over again.

The first step to recovery is this stop throwing your inner Orphan to accept his gifts and release his curses.

Where to start treatment and finding peace

In the words of Carol S. Pearson, Ph.D., in her book The hero is within,

“The Orphan archetype is a tricky place. The Orphan’s job is to shed innocence and denial and learn that suffering, pain, want, and death are an inevitable part of life. The anger and pain this creates will be proportional to the original illusions. This Fall leads to realism because the Orphan’s job is to develop realistic expectations about life.”

As we see, in order to break free from the Orphan archetype and find peace, one must first go through a period of mourning.

We must consciously decide to let go of the innocence, denial, and idealism that haunt our inner Orphans and internally stable having learned:

1. Name and bring loving awareness to how we feel.
2. Accept the harsher realities of life without falling into denial or escapism.
3. Practice working on the mountain facing, mourning and processing what we feel in the present and what we have experienced in the past.

One of my favorite ways to do this is through journaling – what I have been doing for more than twenty years.

It is this powerful healing practice that I chose to use when writing and designing Inner Child Journal. I have been watching closely to help you develop more inner security, love and understanding in the magazine, which are very important for nurturing the orphaned inner child:

If you need a helping hand, you can get Inner Child Journal here.

If you prefer a non-directive approach to journaling, I recommend starting with a few simple questions:

• “How can I become the father my inner orphan never had?”
• “What boundaries in life can I create to make my inner Orphan feel more secure?”
• “How do I know deep down that it’s time to seek help?”

As for other methods of grief work, I recommend doing therapeutic art. Drawing, painting, doodling and crafting are powerful ways to channel and transform intense and repressed emotions such as anger, fear and shame. Mindful meditation it’s another way to help you stay grounded and present.

Note: If you’ve been through a serious injury and are struggling to do the job, it may be time to look further 1:1 personal assistance. Ideally, none of us should have to deal with our pain alone. Having a compassionate mirror to witness your pain can help you find the perspective and healing you need to move forward. So if you need someone to truly understand your unique struggle and meet you where you are, please contact and get support.*

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In the words of writer Alice Walker, “Healing begins where the wound was made.” If the wound started in childhood, then healing begins here. It starts with becoming the parent your orphaned inner child never was. May you become such a person.

Tell me, have you been an “orphan child” physically, emotionally, or mentally? How has it affected your life and what treatment path do you plan to take?

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