“Soulful connections are rare and worth every bit of struggle to keep.” — Shannon L. Alder
Have you ever experienced a moment where you looked into another’s eyes and felt a deep knowing, engaged in a long conversation where time stood still, or simply felt like you had “come home” in someone’s presence?
These magical moments of deep kinship often come when we have deep soul connection with another person.
We can define soul connections in all sorts of quirky and new ways. For example, some people believe they are past life connections or part of the same “soul group” as us. But I want to create a “down-to-earth” definition here, because I can neither confirm nor deny the experience of such phenomena.
Soul connections are everything resonance to me it’s when two people are on the same vibrational “wavelength”.
We can see this in real life. For example, say you have two guitars in your room. If they are both tuned to the same pitch, you can see the resonance effortlessly. When you pluck the D string on the first guitar, the sound waves will travel through the air and hit the second guitar. The second guitar will mysteriously start vibrating and humming the D string itself!
In this guide, I’ll share with you the different types of soul connections, from the fleeting to the long-term, and how inner work deepens our ability to get the most out of these sacred kinships.
The Inner Work Foundation: Why Soul Connections Require Self-Discovery
“The purpose of conscious love is to cause rebirth.” — A. R. Storm
Before I get into the different types of soul connections, I want to share something that I rarely see written about, especially in the context of relationships.
For soul connections to be deeply embraced in all their fullness – for them to meaningfully transform, awaken and help us grow as people, we need to approach them consciously and on purpose.
We must see them as such inner work in practice – how living and breathing teachers here to illuminate our light and darkness. It requires self-knowledge or readiness to become more self-aware.
Unlike ego connections, where two people connect through superficial likes, dislikes, and interests, soul connections are much deeper. They touch on the level of buried wounds, disempowerment, and the deeper Self (or Soul).
This is why active inner work is so important for relationships, and especially spiritual relationshipto flourish Without a commitment to personal growth, finding our core wounds, and facing our shadow parts, it’s easy to project our darkness onto another and self-destruct. Our unhealed wounds have a way distorting how we perceive intimacy and undermining our efforts to truly understand or empathize with others.
In the words of clinical psychologist John Wellwood in his book Towards a psychology of awakening,
“For many of us today … intimacy has become a new wilderness that brings us face to face with all our gods and demons. It calls us to break free from old habits and blind spots and develop the full range of our strengths, sensitivity and depth as human beings – right in our everyday lives.”
There is also a case here what all our relationships in life these are emotional connections. Even if we don’t resonate with someone, that doesn’t mean they aren’t there to help us grow (even through negative circumstances). That’s why when someone asks can a relationship survive if it is not spiritualmy answer is “Yes, if there is mutual respect and love”. After all, the most “spiritual” thing is love.
The spectrum of soul ties
If we’re lucky, we’ll experience different forms of soul connection throughout our lives. But most people feel one or two.
Here is the whole “spectrum” from platonic to romantic:
- Kindred souls and soul family – these connections we have with others are often platonic (although they can also be romantic). We can consider them as “affiliate ties”.
- Soul friends and spiritual partnerships – typically platonic in nature, and sometimes romantic, they can be classified as ours “growth bonds” because they help us grow deeply as people.
- Karmic relations and emotional connections – often romantic and sometimes platonic, they can be classified as ours “wound bonds” because they often reveal unhealed places within us. Not all mental connections are complicated, but they reflect our unconscious state.
- Kindred souls and a twin flame – these bonds tend to be romantic, and they tend to last longer than other types of soul ties (with the possible exception of soul families, which also often last). They can be classified as ours “deep recognition connections” when we see ourselves reflected in all our shadows and lights. Many people mistakenly associate a twin flame (a word I have since distanced myself from) with a chronic, dysfunctional, or confused dynamic. these days, I prefer the word “soulmate” to a twin flame, as it seems more harmonious and reflects a healthy connection.
Let me know what emotional connection you felt in the comments. I would be interested to hear!
7 The types of love that are experienced in our emotional connections
One of the most beautiful and profound experiences of a soul connection is the different kinds of love it can evoke in you.
In his post on different kinds of loveMateo defines them as:
- “Eros” or Erotic Love – this happens in some types of soul connections (soulmate, karmic or twin flame)
- “Branch” or Affectionate love – this happens in almost all emotional relationships (with the exception of karmic relationships, which can often be volatile and antagonistic)
- “Storge» or Familiar love – is platonic love between friends or parents-children
- “The game” or Playful Love is where the inner child comes out to play with the splashes of mischief and joy that can be found in all types of soul connections
- “Mania“, or Obsessive love – this obsessive type of love is often found in karmic relationships and sometimes in soulmate or twin flame relationships
- “Pragma” or Unchanging Love – this is a mature love that is often found in relationships that last a long time (present in long-lasting emotional connections)
- “Filautia” or Self-love – one of the greatest benefits of soul connections is that they help us build better relationships with ourselves by reflecting love back to us
I didn’t include it unconditional love (agape) above because it is rare to feel imperfect and flawed beings. However, sometimes we reach a level of spiritual development where it is possible.
If you want to delve into this topic, I recommend take our “Styles of Love” quiz. to learn how you can better receive love from others. We also have a Soul mate quiz if you suspect you’ve encountered this type of connection and want to clarify what “type” you might have.
Being a lone wolf and finding soul connections
Loneliness and love go hand in hand. Without learning how to be comfortable alone, it’s hard to make a true connection with another, because it will always come from a place of need.
This is why learning to appreciate solitude and embrace the lone wolf within is so important. It is necessary for health everything types of relationships.
In the words of John Wellwood in his book Journey of the heart,
“No matter how close we are to another person, there is a part of us that is radically and forever alone and, in its own way, wild and free. If we use relationships to deny this, they can only be superficial or distorted, because they will not be true.”
We must come to terms with our loneliness in order to function well in our soul connections.
Hugging your inner lone wolf – the wild soul essence of freedom within you – also means accepting periods of no relationship. Sometimes we have to walk alone through life, often for many years. For some, solitude is a life calling and a spiritual path.
However, if you feel that a soul connection or spiritual relationship is necessary for your growth, start with myself the first. The desperate search for love only leads to exhaustion and despair.
From the words of psychotherapist and former monk Thomas Moore in Original Ya,
“The way to find a soulmate is to be a person with a soul.”
and also
“The capacity for solitude is a necessary condition for intimacy with another. Otherwise, it may well be that the desperate search for a partner is simply an expression of personal emptiness, and if this is the case, any relationship will be based on weak foundations and will not satisfy the thirst for connection.”
How to recognize a real soul connection (versus a projection or fantasy)
When love and idealism enter the picture, a lot delusion can overtake us.
This is one of the reasons I’ve moved away from the “twin flame” talk. It has become too burdened with false predictions, traumatized relationships, unhealthy codependency dynamics, and more. modern day nonsense.
The way to recognize whether we have a real soul connection with another, versus a mental fantasy or wishful projection, is to ask ourselves some poignant questions:
- I to depend on this person for my happiness?
- Do I think this person will “save” me from myself?
- Do I feel that this person “completes” me?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, I would cautiously say, “You need to work through your inner baggage before agreeing to any ‘one true’ story.”
I wrote about other false beliefs in my article on soul mate love myths. These false beliefs apply to soulmates, but can also apply to most soul connections.
Conclusion: soul connection as a way back to self
When all is said and done, everything forms of soul ties have one main purpose:
To awaken our hearts to love and call us home to him.
From the words of Harry Zukov in The abode of the soul
“Spiritual partners recognize the existence of the soul and consciously strive for its further development.”
All emotional connections, platonic or romantic, are spiritual in nature. They are mirrors that reflect our darkness, light, weaknesses and hidden strengths.
After all, the deepest emotional connection you will carry with you for the rest of your life is with his own soul. That’s why Healing the soul is the real goal of all soul ties: they remind you of your own home. They remind you that Beloved is in your heart.
In the words of the Sufi mystic Rumi,
“Lovers don’t meet somewhere in the end. They are always in each other.”
Tell me, what types of soul connections have you encountered in this life? What did they teach you about yourself? I’d love to hear in the comments.
