Disrespect in a relationship is not always loud. Some subtle behaviors prove that your partner doesn’t respect you and knows what he’s doing.
You may not notice when your partner is disrespecting you because sometimes it’s hidden. Every few months I learn about another disrespectful tactic. Let’s just say I’m a first-hand learner and can fully discuss these things to help others. While it’s nice to help others, being the test subject is also exhausting. You may have experienced this before too.
Your partner doesn’t respect you when he does certain things.
Yelling or insulting your partner is disrespectful. And I think everyone pretty much understands that. But be careful. Even the kindest words can be veiled disrespectful behavior. The key is to learn the hidden language, hopefully before it is used on you.
Take a look at some examples of subtle disrespect. They can help you avoid pain and difficulty in communicating with others.
1. Silent treatment
Most of us know this the silent treatment hurtful and damaging to relationships. But did you know that it is actually disrespectful? If your partner is giving you the silent treatment, they may be punishing you for something you did to them. And even if it isn’t, they can also use it to gain control by making you doubt yourself.
People who love and respect you don’t want you to suffer that kind of pain. Healthy relationships are built on communication.
2. Recognition of invalidity
Have you ever tried to talk to your partner about something important to you, but they just wanted to dismiss your concerns? It is also disrespectful. Your partner is disrespecting you when he says things like:
“It’s not that serious” or “Stop worrying so much.”
While it’s okay to try to help someone stop worrying, it’s not normal just shut down your feelings. The feelings are realand when one partner rejects the other’s feelings, it is a form of disrespect.
3. Invasion of your privacy
It is important to respect privacy. Picking through their phone, wallet or pocket is a form of subtle disrespect. No matter what your reason, it’s probably not good enough to cross personal boundaries and go through the belongings of a loved one, especially your partner.
If your partner is going through your things, it may be time to reconsider your relationship with this person.
4. Rejection of the word “No”.
It is quite obvious that if your partner does something without your consent, then he is showing disrespect. This is true for any situation. No, therefore, no, and your boundaries should not be crossed.
Constantly ignoring these boundaries is very disrespectful. It can also be a subtle behavior. This can start with you touching your hand after you’ve said, “Stop,” or simply saying what you’re asking to stop. It starts small, but can grow at an alarming rate.
5. Armament
You know those hurtful things you say to your partner? Well, sometimes they can be used against you. Your partner is disrespecting you if they bring up your insecurities during an argument.
In a healthy relationship, what you tell your partner in privacy is protected so that you feel safe and loved. Everything is used as a weapon in an unhealthy relationship. Be careful what you say or do. Better yet, recognize who you’re dealing with and plan accordingly.
6. Unfair contributions
When you start living with your partner, the responsibilities of your life together must be done fairly. One person should not take on most of the responsibilities. Unfortunately, the responsibilities are often disproportionate.
Your partner doesn’t respect you if he lets you do all the housework and yard work while trying to build your career. Then many toxic persons as it is also expected that you will pay attention to them as well. It is mentally and physically exhausting.
7. Use of all free time
While it’s important to spend quality time together, it’s also important to respect your partner’s need for solitude. So many people in relationships fail in this area. But many of these relationships improve by reporting the problem and trying to change. However, there are those few who do not change.
Unfortunately, some people simply do not respect their partner’s needs in this area. And your partner doesn’t respect you when he does that.
What can we do?
Well, first of all, you need to understand if you are not respected in yours relationship. These are just a few examples of subtle disrespect that may help you reflect on your own situation. If you experience these things, maybe you can discuss them with your partner.
If your partner is willing to communicate and work on these behaviors, that’s a good sign. Therapy is always an option for those looking to get better. Please seek professional help if you are unsure of what to do in your relationship.
While I want couples to be able to reconcile their differences, I also understand that sometimes that won’t happen. If not, then you have to make a decision: stay with them and see if the situation improves or not cut ties and start over.
I think you know the answer
Good luck and stay safe!
Staff writer in Training the mind
Sherry Heard is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple forms of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherry treats several mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. With this background and personal experience, she is committed to helping others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.
