Meditation to (gently) interrupt habitual responses

If you often react without thinking, learn this practice to respond with more awareness.

Everyday life is full of annoyances: moments of inconvenience, situations where we don’t get what we hoped for, delays, disappointments, unpleasant interactions that can leave us confused and irritated.

If we’re honest, we can admit that sometimes our response in such moments is more reflexive than deliberate. We feel our anger or irritation rising and react almost as if we are reading a script.

Can we explore these habitual responses in a way that gives us enough space to respond differently? In today’s practice, teacher Patricia Rockman guides us through meditation to help us face whatever comes up so that we have more freedom of choice in the next moment.

This is a meditation on working with habits. In particular, our usual ones reactions to complex situations that commonly arise. It could be anger at being stuck in traffic, sadness at not getting what you want, or frustration at companies that keep you on hold for what seems like an eternity. Whatever it is, whether it’s something significant or something that may seem mundane, attentiveness practices can help us deal with our habitual reactivity in more skillful ways.

Meditation to (gently) interrupt habitual responses

Read the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.

1. Take a comfortable positionone that you are familiar with and that you use in your practice and draws attention to your body. As you sit, pay attention to the contact points; where your sit bones are on the chair or cushion, or where your feet or legs touch the surface.
2. Pay attention to where your hands are in relation to your bodywhether they are resting on your hips or folded in your lap. Notice that your chest is rising, your chin is in line with your navel, and your tongue is resting behind your teeth. If you choose to lie down for this practice, it is best to lie on your back.
3. Pay attention to your body as it touches the mat, floor or bed. Pay attention to the points of contact, and also pay attention to where your body does not make contact. Regardless of your position, let the surface you’re lying or sitting on take over the job of supporting you. Pay attention to the front and back of the body and everything in between.
4. Now shift your attention to the sensation of your breath where they are most accessible, be it in the nostrils, chest or abdomen. Really hone in on the sensations of the breath as they make themselves known by choosing one spot and stopping your attention there.
5. Pay attention to inhaling and exhaling. Watch your body move as the air moves in and out. Note the nostrils; you can notice the coolness of the air as it enters and the warmth as it exits. Pay attention to the breath or chest, focusing on the expansion of the body as you inhale and the exhalation of the body as the breath leaves.
6. Let the body settle. Allow your breath to calm down. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Every breath is a new breath. Each breath is a reception and a release.
7. From time to time you notice that your attention wanders into thinkinginto the future, the past, planning, anxiety or daydreaming. Your task is simply to notice this habitual tendency of the mind and gently return to your breath again and again, without judgment and without history. There is no right or wrong, just watch your breath, notice when your attention moves and bring it back.
8. Notice when the breath is low and when it is short. Notice if it is shallow and if it is deep. Mindfulness is about being aware of all of our experiences, whether wanted or not, and in this case it’s being aware of the experience of breathing.
9. Exhale and release this primary focus on the breath, and let it be present but in the background. As you inhale, focus on your whole body. Find an open receptivity to the experiences and sensations in the body as they come and go. Notice their arrival, persistence, or passing and study them. Bring a friendly interest and curiosity to this exploration of the sensory nature of experience, whatever it may be.
10. Pay attention to how your body feels. There may be lightness, tension, relaxation, discomfort or pain in a part of your body. Whatever it is, if the sensation calls for attention, explore it and explore its depth and various qualities. Whether you lean into it or away from it, whether it’s pleasant, unpleasant, or even neutral, without changing anything in the moment, just watch what arises in your body as it shows.
11. Pay attention to what comes up as best you can and without judgmentbut pay attention to judgment or disgust when it arises. As best you can, explore the sensation as it is, without judgment.
12. Explore sensations as they arise. As soon as you finish exploring one sensation, wait for another to arise and explore it. Remember that the feeling can be internal or external. Perhaps the sounds make themselves known as they come and go. Become aware of your bodily sensations, in your body, in this moment.
13. Notice when your attention drifts into thinkingor you feel an impulse to act or change position. Recognize that this is what is here now. Pay attention to your body again and again. Explore one sensation, let it go, then shift your attention to another as it enters your consciousness.
14. Now, if you will, recall a manageable stressful situationn. You may have been angry, sad, confused, or anxious recently. Maybe it was a situation in a relationship or at work. As you recall this situation, remember that if what comes up for you is not embarrassing, feel free to return your attention to your body’s breathing at any time.
15. If your eyes are closed, open them. Consider the stressor and pay attention to what comes up immediately. It can be a bodily sensation, a thought or an emotion. There may be a behavior or an impulse to act. Start getting to know your stress reactivity symptoms.
16. If there are thoughts, observe them as best you can. If there are emotions, try to name them, for example, “sadness”, “anxiety”. Remember that labeling emotions helps to calm them down and make them more manageable. Labeling emotions creates an opportunity to give you choices about what happens next.
17. If there are body sensations, write them downand actually pay attention to them. Explore them even if they are unwanted. Get to know them. Stay with them as long as they have your attention. Notice if they increase, persist, or disappear. Recognize that this is a moment of stress and that it is normal; it’s already here. Bring a compassionate and kind attitude to this experience. Be who you are, even if it may not be desirable. Explore your body and sensations while they are here.
18. Now shift your attention back to your breathing sensationsmaybe in your stomach. If there are any other sensations, hold your attention at the same time. If you choose, go with the option of widening the inhale, softening, expanding and releasing on the exhale, letting go, or letting go and letting go if possible. If it’s not necessary, just focus on your belly and the rising and falling of your breath.
19. Again, expand the breath throughout the bodyto any sensations. Be with your body, with your breath in the background and your sensations in the foreground, from head to toe. Bringing a sense of space into your experience; to be open and receptive, with an open front and a strong back.
20. When you are ready, abandon this practice, and, if possible, bring a more expanded and spacious awareness to your next moments.
21. Now if you feel inclined take a paper and a pen and write down any words, thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and impulses to action that come to mind. Write down what came up for you in the practice when you introduced the stressor. Name the emotions and list them. What bodily sensations and what impulses to act or behave, if any, went through your mind? These components of experience can manifest in many ways, moving from thoughts to emotions, to bodily sensations, to behaviors, and back to emotions and thoughts, and that’s okay. Write them down as they come to you.
22. After you’re done, take a moment to look at what you’ve written and think about where in your normal response you could intervene with mindfulness. How can you draw attention to these habitual responses when they arise to provide more choice when needed or present other options for how to respond? How can you stop yourself to be able to step back and gain perspective?

Pay attention to habitual reactions

Maybe make a promise to yourself that you could practice with it in a small way if the difficulties arise. Maybe once a week or once a day, just pay attention to the experience, or breathe when difficulties arise, or change your attitude, or adopt a different behavior.

Whatever you do, remember that awareness is always moments away and mindfulness is portable, it can be with us wherever we are, at any moment, at any time.